Journal of a Junkie...This blog tracks the random thoughts and feelings as well as my journey to sobriety...dealing with depression, anxiety and addiction. Sharing my story, hoping that it helps others dealing with the same disease(s).

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Withdrawal

Got the shakes? Headaches? Temperamental and irritable? Feeling depressed and unmotivated? Then its quite possible you are experiencing withdrawals symptoms. There is no way to predict how any individual will respond to quitting, whether they are quitting caffeine, tobacco, drugs, or alcohol. Symptoms also depend on how "chemically dependent" the person is to the substance.

If the person is a "heavy consumer" of the substance, it is possible that if they quit "cold turkey" they will definitely need to be under the care of a physician. "they will experience some physical withdrawal symptoms -- which can range from the mildly annoying to severe and even life-threatening. Typically, for those who are mildly dependent, doses of vitamins (Thiamin) and a proper diet will prevent most of the mild withdrawal symptoms from occurring. For the severely dependent, medication can be administered, but only by a physician."(about.com)

What I found interesting is that the withdrawal symptoms for alcoholism, are also the same withdrawals that drug users and pill users experience when they quit. A gentleman I met in treatment suffers from paranoia schizophrenia because of the Xanex and Valium he was on for so long. I also experienced some of these symptoms myself when I got clean, and I was considered to be a moderate user and drinker. It is quite amazing to me the effects that our bodies experience from foreign chemical substances, even alcohol.

No matter your poison, your body can and in most cases will develop a chemical dependency. When you remove that chemical all of a sudden, your body and your brain experience a bit of a shock. It is definitely a good idea to stop putting such harmful chemicals into our bodies, but do it safely. Please seek the help of others including physicians as well as those who have walked that same path. Attending support groups and in time finding a 'sponsor' that can help you to get through it by sharing their own experiences and being an amazing support system for you.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

90 & 90

When first beginning recovery it is recommended to the addict to help them stay on the straight, clean path of sobriety, to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. At first, this seemed to be a hell of a task. I didn't even want to go to a meeting, let alone 90 of them. But, once I began to go, I started to not feel so alone. I realized that there are a lot more others just like me. As it says in the Big Book, they may not have hit rock bottom as hard as me, and I may not have hit rock bottom as hard as them, but we have one thing in common, Powerless against alcohol and drugs.

28 days clean and sober and a few meetings in...Yesterday I missed a meeting because I showed up at the wrong time, and tonight I missed a meeting due to a family emergency...and I feel like I forgot my keys or something...You know that feeling where you walk around thinking you are forgetting something...Yeah, that's what I have been experiencing all night..Looks like I will have a busy week doubling up on my meetings to make up for my goal of 90 & 90.  =)

Pregnancy Nutrition: Eating for Two

(This is an article I wrote as part of my application for a job...wish me luck!)


The old cliché, "Remember, you are eating for two," is just a myth. This statement makes many expecting moms believe that they must eat more food and have a higher caloric intake when they are pregnant. In fact, the exact opposite is true, expecting moms should actually follow the cliché, "Quality, not Quantity."

When expecting, how much you eat is not as important as what you eat. Eating more calories is likely to mean excessive weight gain for you, which can put you at risk for pregnancy complications[i]. Eating foods higher in vitamins and nutrients should be the goal of pregnant women. It is true that your nutrient needs increase, but energy requirements only increase about 300 calories per day for the second and third trimester of pregnancy[ii].

How can you be sure you are eating the right kinds of foods? In order to ensure that you are ingesting enough foods rich in vitamins and nutrients, pay close attention to serving size and the ingredients contained in the food on the nutrition label. Try to avoid snacks that are high in sugar and fat and consuming foods containing higher amounts protein and calcium. Also, eat a variety of foods, vegetables, fruit, dairy and meats. 

The USDA has resources for expecting moms to assist in planning meals and snacks. Consult your obstetrician to assist in establishing a healthy nutrition plan for you and your soon-to-be-baby.



[i] http://www.babycenter.com/0_what-eating-for-two-really-means_3563.bc
[ii] http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/pregnancynutrition.html


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Habit or Addiction

Ever sit and wonder why it is you do the things you do? Is it something genetically causing it? Is it something inherited through family tradition or habit? Or are you just crazy?

While I would like to believe I am of sound mind and perfect sanity, recent events in my life have forced me to ponder these questions repetitively throughout the majority of my days and nights. Clinically speaking, I am crazy...LoL...but seriously, These life changing events have also brought me in acquaintance with other people, who may look different, have different cultures and backgrounds and family dynamics, they too are having to face these same questions.

So, is it just something that is a habit or is it an addiciton? Whether talking about OCD or alcohol and drug dependancy, seretonin seems to be a term that is reiterated throughout most literature on these topics. "The chemical messenger, Seretonin seems to be heavily involved.  Seretonin is a chemical called a neurotransmitter that allows nerve cells to communicate with each other by working in the space between nerve cells, called the synaptic cleft.  According to research, Seretonin is involved with biological processes such as mood, aggression, sleep, appetite and pain.  It also seems that Seretonin is capable of connecting to nerve cells in the brain in many different ways and so can cause many different responses.  It is not even fully established if it is all or part of the Seretonin chemical or another chemical entirely acting on it; or a malfunction in one or more of the receptors in the brain that Seretonin attaches to that causes [problems]."

So we are still left with some unanswered questions...however, through the work I have been doing to better myself physically, mentally and spiritually, I have learned a lot about myself and have come to know and have started to come to terms that I suffer from depression and anxiety which resulted in OCD behaviors as well as addiction...

Some of us are lucky enough to know from the start that they are a product of their environment and do not ever suffer the consequences of the disease called addiction...maybe they have enough serotonin to carry them through the rough patches? 

I am a survivor, and though I have hit rock bottom, and having to rebuild the pieces before I can even begin to put them back together, I am grateful for my "short-comings" and my dysfunctional serotonin, because it helps me to remember I am not weak, that the exact opposite is true...I am a strong woman, a great mother and an amazing friend.


Website References used for article:
Anxiety Care
Seretonin

Friday, October 22, 2010

Blog? What?

Okay...So began a new trend a few years ago in which people would just journal things and post them on the net...And, I was like, "why the hell would anyone want to post their journal online?"  Apparently, "In America today, there are almost as many people making their living as bloggers as there are lawyers." According to Marc Penn. So, not only are people just babbling about their thoughts and opinions online, and people are reading them...but they are also making money doing it!

So, as I ponder what road to take for the next adventure in my life, and desperate for money, I join the revolution (better late then never). Not only do I have a plethora of random thoughts throughout my day, but I love to share them.  ;)  l0l...so, why not make a lil money on the side for the randomness that is Me?