Last week I took my son to a Diamondbacks game. I have attended alot of games, but never had I ever paid for the tickets on my own. For the first time in my life I am standing on my own two feet. I am having to fend for myself, and truly be the nurturer and provider for my babies.
While sitting in our seats in the 29th row behind home plate, feelings of gratitude along guilt started to fill my heart. I am so grateful that I have come so far so quickly, and have so many blessings in my life. Then, the guilt starts to creep in.
Guilt because I have so much in such a little time. Recovery not unlike everything else in life came so easily to me. I have always been a quick learner, adaptable and flexible. But to have lost the desire before 90 days and by the time I had a year of clean time under my belt I had the trust and friendship of my children and my parents back, as well as my friends along with an amazing job, that afforded me a newer vehicle and nice things for my children.
In the past when I had felt this guilt, I would catch myself asking, "why?" Now, I don't ask, "why?" I simply whisper, "Thank You."
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